Crooked in Canada

Just because you are/were one of the greatest tennis players on the planet doesn’t mean you have the brains to go with it. Take Andre Agassi for example, one of the best. Now there was a tennis player, a clean living one we all thought, that is until now.

Like how big of a fool is Agassi for coming clean on his crystal meth use five years after he retired from tennis to live off his earnings and hopefully wise investments, and to maybe (he is now) raise a family.

Then again his outing himself as a liar and meth addict now might have been calculated, you know to boost sales of that inevitable book most if not all superstars of any sport want to cash in on after retirement.

Gee, I wonder what other drugs he used, and will I hear anything about-and did Brooke Shields know about any of his vices while he was married to her?  I guess I could find out for myself if I bought his tell-all book Open, but nah, I’m going to wait for the gossip surrounding his book to intensify and listen to that.

Like I really give a shit about what he got up to during his professional tennis career.

Hey and what about his sex life…I bet before he chopped off what was left of the hair on his head (he lost most of it while married to Pretty Baby-and she probably drove him to drugs too) he was quite the lady’s man, a horny little f***er who ‘did’ any woman or teenage girl that squealed.

You know what, women and Brooke aside, he’s a f***ing idiot for coming out with this bullshit now and while he might sell a lot of books now that he has come clean about his crystal meth use, he isn’t a better man for it. Nope, he just looks like a fool.

Some things are left better unsaid, right?

Furthermore…

Drug revelations should not detract from Andre Agassi’s legacy-It won’t, but other than his new book, there won’t be much for him to cash in on now. Like WTF Agassi, you’re and idiot mate.

Andre Agassi’s revelations leave sport in state of shock-Like get real, ATP officials are going to be a little red-faced that the player they coveted, you know, the one whose ass they kissed, put one over on them.

Sucks to be those clowns doesn’t it; and yes people will be shocked momentarily, but men’s tennis is going to survive, and I’m pretty sure that if there are any other crystal meth users on the ATP circuit, they will be named and shamed soon enough now that Agassi has grand slammed his reputation by revealing that he was a liar and crystal meth user (maybe he still uses-I mean if he were to say he was clean now, like isn’t he a liar anyway and why would we believe him now, right?) way back when.

The only people who are going to be shocked out of their seats by Agassi’s revelations now are going to be the people he used and fooled on his way to his eight grand slam wins. The rest of us will just shrug our shoulders and say, “Like he isn’t the only professional athlete who has scammed and drugged his way to and through sporting greatness, so like who gives a f*** really.”

So Like Did Her Singing Have Anything To Do With It

HEADS UP-If you are a friend or family of Taylor Mitchell, you probably shouldn’t read any further, because you are not going to like what you read beyond this paragraph.  If you do choose to read further, it’s not like I didn’t warn you.

After reading the next the paragraph of today’s blog article, you might mistake me for being a stand up kind of guy, a decent human being who cares about what happens to others who have done nothing wrong to deserve what has happened or happens to them.

Having said that, I sorry to hear about the demise of young Canadian folksinger Taylor Mitchell.

She’s the nineteen-year-old Canadian Folk Music Award for Young Performer of the Year nominee, who was mauled to death by marauding coyotes while she was hiking alone in Cape Breton Highlands National Park in Nova Scotia.

What a way to go, and my condolences to her family, as insincere as you might think they sound after you read the rest of this blog post.

Taking off my ‘nice guy gloves’ now.

First of all, WTF was she thinking heading off on a walkabout among the fauna in a national park where there is bound to be a carnivore of the four-legged kind looking for an easy feed. That was Taylor’s first mistake.

Secondly, was she like singing a song, perhaps maybe a new one she was working on, and while singing that song did she hit one of those notes that would drive a toothy wild canine kind of nuts?

I bet you think I’m an asshole now, not that I have ever said I wasn’t one.

Look, I feel bad for Taylor. By the way, she kind of looks like Alanis Morrissette from back in her Jagged Little Pill days.

Being eaten alive by a couple of Wileys (think roadrunner here) is a horrible way to go, but I have to nod my head in wonder “Hmm, what was she doing up there all by her lonesome-I mean come on now, she was a city girl.”

Taylor was attacked yesterday afternoon, but despite the efforts of nearby hikers on the Skyline Trail who called 911 after hearing her screams, and the efforts of doctors and nurses in Sydney and Halifax, she died from her injuries overnight.

RCMP have closed off the hiking trail, and the killer dogs are currently being hunted down, not that anybody will ever be able to single out the two feral beasts responsible for the killing.

I’m pretty sure there are a lot of coyotes living in the national park that could be singled out for trying to make a meal out of Mitchell, but I do hope ‘the RCMP get their dog’.

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