Crooked in Canada

from astrocenter.com

This is a good time to pay special attention to your family. You might find that a loved one needs some extra nurturing. Take a few hours and chat with your child about things that he or she is experiencing. Don’t just zone out in front of the TV. Create a dialogue that will bring you closer. Or maybe you should take your romantic partner out for dinner in an intimate restaurant.

Um, like which family is the astrologer referring to, the blended one I am with here in Australia, or the one in Canada?

Hmm, neither are anywhere near me at the moment. My wife is in Sydney. The children are with her ex-husband, and my parents, aunts, uncles, grandparent, brother; sister, nieces, nephews, and cousins are all spread out across Canada, thousands of kilometers from where I am sitting. So today, it would be next to impossible to pay special attention to my family, not that I don’t want to sometimes. My family has never been that close really.

from Y! Astrology

You may be having company tonight — of the unexpected variety. Unlike other signs, you won’t need to be reminded to keep your place neat and tidy in the event of a spontaneous visit. Now that you’ve been warned, you may need to be dragged gently but firmly away from the cleaning products, and involuntarily forced to give up the rubber gloves. Once that’s done, you’ll be ready to rock. Put the sponge down, and start primping.

Woohoo, will my company be that of the bikini wearing kind, or will it be a skanky looking old broad looking for a place to shit, shower and shave, the latter reminding me of my mother-in-law. F*** man, she’s a real piece of work that one and yes she needs some serious help, medication being about the only thing that is going to level out that messed up head.

It’s the one and only thing my wife and I can agree on these days, that and how spineless her father has been during the years.

I tell you what; I really hope for my wife’s sake, she doesn’t turn out like her mother, though it would appear that is exactly the path she is headed down.

Go ahead sister-in-law, you have my permission to pass on to your parent’s what it is I just said about them in Crooked in Canada, or maybe it’s one of their friends who fills them in on the dribble I spew in here about them. Who knows, who cares, right?

Aah yes, my in-laws, they have caused nothing but grief for my wife in the five years we have been living under the same roof, and you know what, they should be ashamed of themselves, not only for the way they have treated my wife, but for the deliberate strain they put on her marriage during that time. Shame on them.

Anyway, while my wife is doing her thing out of town this weekend, I am not expecting any visitors of the spontaneous kind, not unless the stepkids show up at the front door looking for their DSes.

No reason for me to clean myself up for visitors today either and I definitely don’t need to be cleaning up the house, choosing instead to go for a bike ride beside the ocean. The way the house looks right now, the condition it was in yesterday, well…if it is good enough for my wife, its good enough for me and whoever happens to pop by tonight.

Just so everybody knows; I’m almost always ready to rock too. It is a rare occasion when I am not.